As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
