You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
