your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
