i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
