I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
