Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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