Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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