she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
