Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
