I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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