so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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