Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
