grandma shit on top of the toilet
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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