I want to walk on stilts...naked
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize