i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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