Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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