i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
