If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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