Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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