ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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