belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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