I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
