I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
you will always have a special place in my vag
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
