She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
