Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
