I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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