At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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