there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
