it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
