No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
