I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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