he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
we're so committed to being not committed
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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