Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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