is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
