You smell like stripper and shame
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
