Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here