Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
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After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
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Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?