i just sold back the books i vomitted on
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
