so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
