i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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