i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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