I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
So squirting runs in the family.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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