went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
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We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
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I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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