yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
