I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
