Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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