i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
