so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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