no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
foreskin is a definite game changer
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
