I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
