my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
