dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
