NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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