I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
