Your mouth is God's brothel.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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