He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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