Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
